Kemnay Youth Golf Outing 2009
Date Posted : Thu, Oct 1, 2009 21:26:23 PM
Have you ever seen a Yellow Mole?
I have. It was a giant thing with red eyes and a poor sense of balance, desperately trying to get to its feet on the 11th tee at Cullen Golf Club last Sunday.
Yes I've seen some sights at the annual Kemnay Youth Golf Outing − the coastguard scrambling to find a missing striker; naked Vikings and soiled underwear − and now I can add nauseas Gary Anderson to the list.
But getting back to the beginning, because I can think of no greater place to start, the measure of how the day will go is usual taken within the first few minutes of the bus journey. This year's organiser Murray Nicol started the day as he meant to go on − bleary eyed and at times incoherent. Not Colin ‘Sambo' Lyon incoherent, but not far off. But at least Murray was able to make his way to the pick up point unaided and unscathed. Skipper Mark Ingram (that armband is on a shoogly peg) required a doorstep collection and rude awakening after a few too many Apple Soors the previous evening.
You could argue that it was a poor turnout compared to previous years, with only 20 bodies on the bus. But we have to consider the quality of participant over quantity and with that as a marker, Cullen 2009 must rank up there. Of course there were the usual prodigal sons making their return having left the club for greener pastures. Both Tricky and Ross Mackie were well behaved and kept their heads down − or maybe Ross was just hanging his head after Burghmuir's start to the season! :-)
It's always good to see regular golf outing attendees Stephen Booth and Andy Smart, who it turned out where invited along by Mr Nicol to make sure he had someone to carry him in his front door at the end of the day. And well done to Colin Noble on his first foray into the dark world of Kemnay Youth golf − with your youthful looks, you did well to avoid an encounter with John Muirhead in the cave.
Colin Fowlie's ever more outlandish outfits reached an all time high this year with his luminous yellow ensemble, something between The Mask and Huggy Bear. And Mark Ingram − yes him again − was described in a variety of ways ranging from American Tourist to ARI nurse. Note to Mark: Sky Blue cotton trousers are for pensioners on cruises and 1970s Medical Examiners called Quincy.
Niall Walker let the side down by neglecting to wear any of his infamous Hawaiian style shorts, but Mole wasn't prepared to miss the opportunity (at least until he felt the Cullen sea breeze and changed into his jeans). And while we're on the subject of fashion, it was great to see the re-emergence of Murray Nicol's denim shirt, last seen on Francis Rossi at this year's Glastonbury.
You may have guessed that the golf itself comes somewhere further down the list of priorities, somewhere below cans of Hollandia Lager, heated arguments, team huddles and hipflasks. Nicky Mess was rarely seen without a cigar and even when he wasn't puffing, he was speaking about the virtues of a big Cuban. Mike Mollins even admitted that his highlight was teaming up with Phil Adam to pin Davey Temple down and make a mess all over his face…………..
With a felt pen.
So finally it's time to say a big congratulations to Tom Waterston for winning the morning Stableford Competition with 37 points ahead of Ross Mackie in second with 36 points (count back) and third placed Mark Ingram also with 36 points. Clearly the Wee Man kept his head when all around were losing theirs. The equally well contested wooden spoon went to Andy Murray, for a truly dismal display of only 14 points, brought about through a huge surplus of vodka, and a huge lack of skill.
Well done also to Gav Strachan for not passing out, and to Panda for winning the award for the Longest Rant Against John Muirhead 2009.
The afternoon Texas Scramble winning team consisted of Tom Waterston, Ross Mackie, John Muirhead and Gav Strachan.
Other awards were:
- Nearest the pin (2nd hole) − Mark Ingram.
- Nearest the pin (7th hole) − Tom Waterston.
- Longest drive (15th hole) − Mark Ingram.
Streetwise
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